Wisdom Teeth

So on Friday I got my wisdom teeth out. I was scared for my life, at least the first time I went in (and the doctor wasnt there, so I had to leave and come back another day). It actually wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. Three of my teeth feel absolutely fine, like nothing even happened to them, and one is really sore. I'm kinda worried about dry socket, but I read that ony 3-5% of people with extractions get dry socket. So hopefully I'm not one of them. But I guess on that tooth, they had to go in and take out a bunch of bone and cut through tooth and stuff, so it makes sense that that one hurts more than the other ones. It's just frustrating cuz I'm soooo ready to eat real food, and I feel like I could, if not for this one hole that hurts like a bitch. And obviously it's only been three days, so I couldnt really eat much of anything anyway. It's just soooo frustrating for me cuz I HATE sitting inside and I HATE not being able to do what I want and eat what I want, and I can't, and it's driving me nuts. It's like, all I want is a salad. But I can't have one. And if i could have one, then I probably wouldnt want one. But i cant have one, so I want it. NOW.
My anatomy class is going to kill me, so I should go and work on it. Peace out.

Back to School!

So we're back at school. YUCK. My Mondays and Wednesdays are killer, along with this kicking headache I'm currently having from my wisdom teeth. I was supposed to get them out last Wednesday, and the doctor didnt show, along with a bunch of other issues, so now I have one more week left to wait until I can rip them out. I hate them, they hurt so bad. And to top that off, my bf is going to be down in the cities with his ex (h.b.) for her birthday when im getting them out, and that bothers me some. Its hard to trust him after finding out he fucked her after me, but I gotta just believe he'll control himself. :( I'm ready to go somewhere warm already. It's so effing cold out, its in the -30's. Joyous occasion. Dude, fuck that noise. As soon as I get my teeth out, life will be much better. And once I'm on the plane to Florida, that will help too. Well, once we're in the air. Cuz flying scares the shit outta me. balls. alright, i gotta shower and study for my Anatomy quiz tomorrow.

BUZZKILL

Alright, I writing in my journal and decided I had to put this out there in cyberspace for anyone who is willing to read it. Rachel (my now ex-roommate who's ex is now my boyfriend) keeps telling me that her and Rick (my bf, her ex) have been sleeping together, and wants to know if she should go get tested. Except the list of nights she gave me - I was either at his house with him or talked to him til we fell asleep, so there goes her story. What a fucking psychopath. I tried to be nice to her and tried to keep things kosher, but after all this, i sooo wanna just throw everything in her face. How she is crazy and that's why she doesn't have any friends. How she's a spoiled little brat and she sucks at giving head, and I've been fucking Rick since Halloween, and she can eat a dick if she thinks she needs to go get tested. How we're dating and actually care about each other, and I'm going to Florida with him this spring- NOT HER. And how the picture on them on his desk has been replaced by a picture of him and I, and he dumped out the piggy bank that says "Rachel's Ring Fund" and uses the Coors Light can bank I gave him. He is slowly but surely making smaller spaces for her and larger and greater spaces for me in his life. I really wish I could tell her all that. And that he constantly points out where they/she went wrong in the relationship, and I strive not to exactly those things so that I'm as different and far away from her as possible so that our relationship works. And that cat he got? He got it as a surprise for me. So shut the fuck up and get. out. of. out. lives. FOREVER.
So anyway, that's my current feeling on that. Basically I know that by writing this here, only L and maybe one other person (a complete stranger Im sure) will ever see it. And since I wanted her to read this anyway, this is perfect. I hope she finds this someday and gets it the fuck through her head that breaking up means leaving the other one the fuck alone. Peace.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

So I have come to the conclusion that I LOVE my room mates. Well, two of them. hahahaha. The other one is kind of a ho's beast. HOWEVER, one of my room mates cleaned the bathroom with the h.b's toothbrush yesterday, and listening to h.b. brush her teeth this morning was definitely worth it. Am I evil? YES. Do I care? NO. Only 19 more days til i dont have to hide my boyfriend anymore (who so lovingly woke me up with sex this morning)!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! THANK GOD.
Morning sex is a new concept for me, and I have decided I enjoy it. I'm all happy and in a good mood for the day, and totally awake for anything! Plus my room mate gave me a zipfizz this morning and I rocked my math test out as a result!!!

I'm sooooo excited for this weekend, my room mate and I are going christmas shopping and then wrapping all the presents. and going to a party at my boyfriends without h.b.!!! ahhhh! i NEVER get to stay up here because of work every weekend, and im so excited to just have a crazy fun and relaxing weekend.

alright, its time to go do something constructive. i have a million and one things to do this week, and no time for any of them because im sooo happy!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Happy early Thanksgiving everyone!!! My day on Thursday will be nuts so I probably wont be able to get on and write...
so lately, I've been trying to motivate myself to get my shit done, and still see Rick at the same time. It's kinda hard, cuz all I wanna do is be around him all the time. Is that bad? We've been just enjoying time together, and spending pretty much every night with each other. On Saturday i didnt have to close at work, so I went up to the bar and brought Michelle with me. I couldnt WAIT for her to meet him. All the guys there were silly drunk, but it was fun. I like being able to do little things like that and just make each other happy. Last night we got in a fight about him still hanging out with and talking to Rachel. It drives me nuts sometimes! Her phone kept going off ALLLLL night and I knew it was him every fucking time. I ended up bawling and then going over there to talk about it and see him. I was a hot mess.
Anyway, things have been going well, my anxiety is getting better, and I think I have to switch my birth control again, cuz it's starting to make me sick again. Typical.
Rachel went home for break already, THANK GOD!!! Leslie is gone too, so it's just Lauren and I. It's soooooooooooo nice to just be us two, and not worry about anything. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Rick can actually come over and spend the night here, and Rick and me and Lauren and Eric can all hang out together if we want and if he gets here early enough! OMG!!! And we dont have to worry about when she comes home or if anyone sees us kiss or snuggling or holding hands or anything. I LOVE IT!!!!!
Anyway, I should get going...homework calls. UGH. :(

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

SO.... I've been still seeing this guy, my room mate's ex-boyfriend. She still doesn't know, and we still are sneaking around. However, it's gotten a little more easy and a little harder at the same time. I've stayed at his house every night and my room mate keeps asking if I'm staying at our apartment or at "Drew's". Drew is the nickname/codename that me and my tw other room mates have decided to use when talking about him in front of Ra (his ex). I told him on last week about having herpes, and he took it really well. I then got an outbreak on Friday, and we haven't been able to have sex for a week. Which is kind of a mixed blessing. It sucks that we haven't been able to, but we've been hanging out every night and not doing anything physical and still enjoying each other and wanting to spend time together and see each other all the time. So we have been able to see that we're actually enjoying each other's company and really like each other. I had that moment last night where I was sitting next to him and looking at him, and specific parts of him, like his hands, and his eyes, and the little curls in his hair, and I was just thinking about how much I really like him and love spending time with him, even though I'm spending alot of money on new underwear and drugs, and never sleeping cuz I'm up with him every night.
Monday night was interesting...I went over there for Monday Night Football, and we didnt have class on Tuesday. That was a mess. Everybody was just ripped. At the end of the night, all the guys there were girating on each other in a big pile-up, and then he just disappeared downstairs. I went to go find him and he was getting into bed, all snuggled up, ready to go to sleep. Soooooooooo cuuuuuuute! Over break, it's gonna suck, cuz he will be up here and I'll be down in the cities. :( :( :(
I'll work something out. I need to. Our break is only three weeks long, at least. Maybe we can go to his parents house for the night occassionally, since we can't stay at my parents. LAME. whatever, it happens.
Anyway, I'm need to get on my math homework, so I don't fail the class, AGAIN. that would suck soooo bad.
Before I do though...
I love the way he smiles, and his eyes just light up.
I love the way he holds me, and wraps his arm around me when we sleep.
He doesn't care when I steal the covers.
He stands up for me.
I love the way he cares about learning about what is going on with me, and is willing to accept it and deal with it as a part of life. Even after only seeing each for a little less than a week.
I love the way that he kisses me, and does it super gently.
I crack up when he gets drunk and kisses me all over my face, so quickly.
Ok, I'm done now. I'll move along. Peace to y'all.

my past week in a nutshell...

So, just to make sure y'all are up to speed, since so much has happened this past week...
My room mate dating this guy, rick, for three years. and broke up about a month ago. so here goes nothing...
So...Tuesday rick and i started talking, and on thursday, i went to his house and we talked for a few hours, then had mind-blowing good sex :)
then friday we just talked all day, and saturday after work, he came over and we talked for a few hours and went in the hot tub for about four hours and did it again. oops chiva? then sunday when i got back, i went over there and spent the night. we watched animal house and just cuddled all night. monday we went for a walk while rachel was gone in the cities and then we met lauren and eric for dinner at this little place by the tracks. then he came over for a while and we just hung out in my room and made out for a while, til she was almost home, so he had to leave. i went over later and we hung out with two of his roomies and then finished watching the movie from the night before. then more sex. THEN yesterday i told him about the herp. i was freaking out and bawling, but he took it pretty well. he wants to learn more about it, and wants to make sure we're always careful and protected. he said he cared too much and that he isn't going anywhere. which just made me cry harder. he texted lauren and asked her to take care of me since he was at work and couldnt be here. how cute is that?
he came over last night after work for a good night kiss, so i snuck outside and found him, since rachel was in her room. ps, in case i forgot to mention it, he's rachel (my roomie)'s ex...i didnt know if i told al that or not. so we're officially "seeing each other"...not together but still the closest ive been to a real relationship since jon. weird, huh?

~Kels